The one month check in

We have been on the road since June and it feels great to finally have a place to call home. We arrived in India a little over a month ago. We spent the first few weeks staying with a friend before getting settled into central Delhi.

The experience thus far has surpassed my expectations. Kristen and I were in a bit of a daze initially and were second guessing our decision to leave our life in the US for this temporary move. The AA Delhi to O’Hare flight seemed all that more attractive during the early weeks. The initial daze has now vanished. We have started to block out the noise and instead focus more on the beauty of this place. We have both grown and learned so much in our short timer here. Focusing on our work has made our visit more purposeful.

As we have been here just over a month I thought I would share some of my key cultural takeaways thus far:

“Crabs in a bucket”
Our friend Rajika who has lived in Delhi her whole life used the analogy of “crabs in a bucket” to describe India. The analogy goes something like instead of helping one another to climb out of the bucket, the crabs hurriedly crawl on top of one another. Instead of some crabs getting out, the crabs just crawl on top of one another and keep falling down. India is a constraint ridden environment which is only further impacted by the caste system and other religious and cultural barriers. While it’s a sad realization to think of people in this way, I nevertheless understand Rajika’s point of view. I wish there was less corruption and more collaboration in this culture.

I have roots here
While I was born in Pakistan and moved to the US at an early age, I still feel a sense of attachment to this country. My father’s home was near Ludhiana, which is just north of Delhi. After Partition my father’s family moved to Jhallan which is a small village near Hafizabad Pakistan. It helps that I speak Punjabi which is one of the many local languages. I often get awkward looks when I bust out my Punjabi which is entertaining for Kristen to watch. Punjabi is spoken by about 100 millon in the world mostly in India and Pakistan. Despite Punjabi being a separate language it has a large overlap with Urdu and Hindi which are two main languages (aside from English, of course) spoken in Delhi. Having a language skill has been invaluable as I have been able to interact regularly with locals, which has been an enriching experience. Kristen is also taking Punjabi/Urdu lessons which have been entertaining for me to watch.

Financially poor but emotionally and culturally rich
When meeting people in this country who are financially poor my initial emotion is a feeling of sadness. My heart goes out to many of the people we encountered who live in harsh poverty. For example, there is the nicest man in our neighborhood who has a small stand where he irons clothes each day. He is at his stand early in the morning and irons clothes until sunset, sometimes staying longer to iron under the street light after dark. He charges 5 cents per item for the ironing. At this rate he probably makes no more than $2 dollars a day. Some days I don’t think he even earns one dollar. The same could be said for the maid our landlord employs or the bicycle rickshaw drivers we see on the streets in Old Delhi. After further observation and getting to know some of these people, I have realized that while these people are financially poor they are rich in emotion and culture. I can’t judge these people by my preconceived standards of material wealth. In fact as I reflect on my life there have been times when I was financially rich but was emotionally bankrupt. This experience has been a grounding force.

I continue to learn something new each day. I am having a rewarding experience and consider myself lucky to be able to spend this time with Kristen in India.